Wednesday, March 25, 2015

who I was VS. who I have become

Who I was...
A girl full of energy, had many friends, I laughed a lot but cried more.
Food was my blanket.
It protected me in a way that nothing else could.
Out with my friends I was the life of the party, but behind closed doors I was a mess.
I was hiding my emotions and with that came the weight gain, stomach issues, bad skin, depression, stress and sadness.  I thought that's the way it was, the way it had to be for me.  
My body only knew to feel tired, achy, worthless because it was all I ever showed it how to feel. 
I was trapped and my biggest critic was ME.
I'd shoot myself down every chance I could.
And I'd create windows of "I can't" all around..."I can't do this because _____" "I can't do that because _____" and the list went on and on AND if I did step out of my comfort zone and TRY something to better my life or try to get healthy, "I am not strong enough to do this, look at me" "I'm going to fail after so many days so why try?", did I really live that way?!

I have a hard time looking at the girl I used to be.  I don't relate to her at all anymore.
Strange isn't it?
Our mind is THE most powerful thing we have...
our bodies are strong but if our minds fail us, then we are finished.  
Finished believing and finished trying to be better. 
If I would have never changed my mind, who knows where I'd be but I'm so happy that I did.

My mind now tells the woman that I am, "You are strong, you are beautiful and you work HARD for everything you've achieved" and that's a good feeling.  
Nobody can take that from me.
It's MINE.

Do I still have moments of doubt?  YES, I'm only human.
But as soon as my mind jumps in ready to defeat me, I SHUT IT DOWN! 

I won't allow my doubt and fear to stand in the way of my life and you shouldn't either!

I speak with women in my community every day and it saddens me to see the doubt in their eyes.  They don't believe they can and their mind is so blurred by all the times they failed that they can no longer see the success.  

There is hope.  Always hope.
Some only dream of crossing the finish line of a half marathon, I have done it MORE than just a few times.
Some only dream of losing over 100lbs, I have done it and inspired others to do the same.
I used to DREAM of a better life, but now I'm creating one day by day! 
And let me tell you how great it feels to DO IT rather than IMAGINE IT!
It's a feeling that keeps me doing what I do, keeps me pushing so hard and pushing others harder.  

We can LIVE life or we can allow life to PASS US BY. 
The choice is ours.  If we are physically able, then what's our excuse?  A bad knee, foot or toe...yes, I guess you can sit around and list a million excuses but WILL YOU?  
Or will you demand more out of your life??!  

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