Wednesday, September 9, 2015

"...that version of me."

As I post weekly, you must know that a lot of my motivation and inspiration comes from personal experiences throughout the week...
Last night was EWL with Chris and Heidi Powell, so I'm extra inspired today!  Ha!

Toward the end of her beautiful and amazing transformation, she said something that spoke directly to me, as she reflected on the previous year.  
"My children will never know that version of me"
MY children will never know that version of me either.  Wow.  A HUGE reason why I wake up and do what I do each and every day.  It is what fuels my body and mind.  It is what keeps me focused on helping EVERY mother and child be healthy.  It is what drives me to keep spreading my passion to all that will listen.  
While I never regret my past, I am so very thankful that my boys will NEVER know my former self.  She went along to say, "One day I'll get to tell my kids, look what Mommy did for YOU...that's how much I love you."...YES.
The picture above is me with my oldest son at the zoo.  It was a fun day but it was HOT outside.  That shirt is an XXL. I hear all of the time, well give yourself a break you had just had a baby...Okay.  
That excuse will work temporarily but sadly, my kids kept aging and I stayed the same physically.  I had started running shortly after this picture was taken and sadly, my figure didn't change much at all. 
I mean, my endurance improved but it is true
we CANNOT out-exercise a bad diet!  
Oh how true that is!!!  
I lived it.  
I was trapped in it.  
I knew it all too well.  
It's just IMPOSSIBLE.  

I feel like today I have given myself and my family the greatest gift by becoming healthy and strong!  They know an entirely different woman than the one I used to be.  They see strength, determination and fight!  They no longer see excuses, blaming, sadness and laziness...that is history! There's NO greater motivator than feeling good AND being a positive role model for my kids.  

The contestant said, "her addiction affected every person in her life and they constantly worried about her...her health" When she said it I thought, wow that's thinking of it like a drug addiction but for those that have lived it, it is.  In a VERY different way and I'd never use the term addiction and try to compare one with food to ANY other form...that wouldn't be fair and I only know food and I'm not a doctor.  My experience dealing with a dependency on food, it did affect all members of my family because it caused me to be hateful, dishonest, bitter, sad and resentful to those around me that didn't struggle the way that I did.  I mean, mine was out for the world to see because I was visibly unhealthy.  If they did share a similar struggle, I'd never know because my addiction was OUT THERE.  They'd know it as soon as I walked through a door...she's fat, she's unhealthy ...I wonder if she's aware of it?? 
I'd pretend to be thick-skinned at times but as soon as someone I cared for mentioned my weight, I'd crumble. 

So when a workout seems tough or choosing to pass on the birthday cake and ice cream, I think  about who I used to be and how hard it was to be that version of myself and how it held me back from SO MUCH, then all of a sudden that workout doesn't seem so tough and that cake doesn't look all that appetizing!  Ha! 

I have and will continue to use my struggles and honesty to stop the cycle of obesity in women and everyone.  
My favorite thing my sons have said when looking at pictures of my former self, "That's when mom was unhealthy, now she's healthy and helps us be healthy too!"...YES!  
Every day is a teachable moment for me to help educate them when it comes to exercise and nutrition.   

I posted these on Instagram to show my progress and when I look, it makes me proud!  MY ARMS...oh my arms.  An area of my body I dislike almost as much as my tummy.  But with being patient, persistent and never giving up, I'm seeing progress in those arms I disliked so much.  They are becoming leaner and defined.  Wahoo!  THAT is just the icing on the cake to FEELING GOOD but not gonna lie, seeing some progress physically feels pretty darn great too!

Just keep in mind that the ups and downs are all part of it...
That journey that is never ending...
It's always worth the fight to become a better version of YOU!

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