Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Holding what?

Again I found myself inspired by Extreme Weight Loss but this time was different...
Bruce's story, have you seen this one?
Wow what a transformation both mentally and physically, wasn't it?
Chris Powell tells him on Day 1 that this will be an emotional transformation more than anything. 
That we can workout HARD but if we still hold on to what's causing the weight gain and unhealthy behavior it's only a matter of time before those thoughts make their way back into our lives and ruin what we've worked so hard to achieve.  

What are we holding onto that keeps us from living our healthiest life?  
What keeps us from losing the weight once and for all?  
What holds us back from accomplishing that goal of running a marathon, wearing that bikini or stepping into that gym for the first time?  
You want to join that workout group but are afraid of what?
You want to lose that stubborn 15 lbs but won't...why?
You need to get healthy because you take 5 medications that all carry side effects of one another but won't take the steps to improve your health the right way...WHY?

I figured I failed at dieting so many times, what would possibly be different THIS time?  Immediately setting myself up for failure before trying.  Ever been there? 
I failed at sports because I was unhealthy.  While many people that I help share opposite struggles as they were fit and healthy growing up and now struggle, I was far from it but we all share similar struggles, insecurities and we are all holding onto something?  Aren't we?
I figured if I failed at being that person that pulled my father away from that life he loves so much-a life without my mom and I and far different than the life I seek for my family, then I'd also fail at changing my life for the better.  We were never strong enough to change him as a man or change him as a father.  He's making the SAME mistakes that he made with me as a child.  It's hard to watch but thankfully I am a different person.  I am strong and will teach my boys to share that same strength.  

It'll tear us down and make us weak every time.   
I ate to cover my weakness, my emotions and in a way I was sheltering myself with my body.  
Seems like Bruce's story was SO similar, yet his far more traumatic, but still EMOTIONS THAT WE HOLD ONTO.  It can be so powerful, take over our lives and cause SO much pain even after the damage has been done.  

I also held onto a moment with my grandfather that I held onto for so long, TOO LONG.  I believe I've shared it a million times so obviously in some way it's still in the back of my mind serving as fuel to keep me going...

We were at Mother's Day brunch with my family.  I was severely overweight but "dieting" at the time.  "Dieting" made me irritable and I felt angry, life wasn't fair and I would let everyone know about it.  I chose very little food, unbalanced because I didn't know any better and sat at that table STARVED.  I watched as my family ate.  We laughed and chatted but all I could think about was the deprivation.  I was WATCHING them eat, my tummy was growling but it was all that I cycle was start this new, fantastic diet and then slowly spiral out of control until I was sitting in front of the TV devouring a cheeseburger and fries :(  Oh I knew that sabotage SO well.  
My cousin was eating McDonald's at the brunch because she was a picky eater, young and wanted her Happy Meal and as the meal was wrapping up, my grandfather looked over at her and said, "you shouldn't be eating that way.  You want to end up like her?" and pointed directly at me.  And while I believe I am strong, at that time I was weak...oh so weak.  You could see right through me, my insecurities and I was "dieting" remember?  I was hungry and that never leaves me pleasant. I jumped up from the table and ran out in tears...
How could someone that I love say such an ugly thing about me?

When you spoke about my weight, I'd crumble.  It was a HUGE insecurity out there for the world to see and although it hid so much emotion, it also left me as a target.  
I now know that my grandpa loved me.  He wanted what was best but didn't use the right words to express it.  I now know that some people don't understand that words hurt as much as they do, especially for a person carrying around a huge issue with food.  It controlled me and I didn't know how to escape it.  That's a scary thing for a child, teenager...heck, even an adult.  It was scary because unlike alcohol and drugs, it's everywhere.  We have access to it at the grocery store, fast food restaurants and gas's around us wherever we go and that's tough.  It makes temptation hard to beat but if we educate ourselves and know what our body needs, if we properly train our mind and body then success is only a few steps away.  If we let go of the things that we're holding onto then life only gets better.  It becomes full and nothing can stand in our way.  

Why would we not want that life for each of us?  We must fight TOGETHER.  Fight for your brother, sister, mom, dad, grandpa, grandma...for our KIDS to be healthy.  We must educate them and practice the behaviors that we know are right and not share all of our insecurities, poor eating habits and unhealthy behaviors.  Don't we want what is best for the people that we love?  Then get out there and share the LOVE of fitness, healthy eating and help people change for themselves.  

AND if you didn't catch Bruce's Story on Extreme Weight Loss-find it NOW!  It is worth watching.  It was life-changing, I cried the ENTIRE episode and it helped me see even more how much I want to change the world...not just my community but the WORLD!
The people that we know in our lives that are fighting obesity right their friend.  Stand by their side and help them see how much they are worth fighting for!  We must come together so our kids stay healthy and active, so we can stop teenagers and adults from dying of strokes and heart attacks, so that we can put a stop to childhood diabetes and obesity.  
So that we can live healthy for ourselves and our beautiful families...

The poor habits that I created as a child stuck with me as an adult.  They were worse before they became better.  I had to hit rock bottom in order to rise above and it takes work...LOTS OF WORK.  
Many tears, lots of sweat and plenty of dedication but when I stopped holding on and let go...MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER!!!!  

All those years of destruction, poor lifestyle choices...they were NEVER for nothing.  I learned how to be strong, how to fight back and I found inspiration in myself that I am able to share with the people around me.  I want to serve as that hope.  They can see my struggles, my weaknesses and my successes and they are able to somehow relate and find hope in themselves.  That makes every dark moment WORTH IT!  

LET GO of what's holding you back :)  

Move It Momma Recipe TIME!!! 
This one is delicious so get ready!

Apple Crock Pot Pork tenderloin

1lb pork tenderloin
1/2 purple onion sliced or diced
salt and pepper-just to taste and season the pork loin-this is optional.
3 slices apples and 1 pkg unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon
-the recipe called for a can of apple pie filling and I'm sure that version is AMAZING as well!
Low 6-8 hours and ENJOY :)

I served to the family just like this...
paper plate, of course!
1/2 c long grain brown rice with pork on top...and apples!  Look at those :)
Served with sweet peas and sugar snap peas!  

1 comment:

Jennifer A said...

I like that part of EWL - helping people let go. But, what if you honestly don't feel like you are holding on to anything. I struggle and I can't get it. I have done it before, but this time I just struggle with it all.

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