Friday, August 8, 2014

gotta WANT IT

The road to change no matter what kind, is HARD.
You've gotta want it.
You've gotta dust yourself off time and time again.
You might fail several times or a million times...
If you want it bad enough, you'll stop at NOTHING!

Seeing progress within myself is the "WANT" that keeps me going. 

I think for so long I only saw myself BIG so I was unable to visualize what I would look like smaller, more fit and in shape.  I would look around and see others that way but could never picture what 75-100lbs off of my body would look like...and it will look different for each of us.  
It may be 5lbs we're trying to get rid of or trying to simply firm up and gain muscle...
but until we WANT IT badly enough, we are unable to see ourselves that way.  
It is something I think SO many women struggle with.  Body image is tough, especially for young women growing up in a society filled with thinner is better, beauty is skin deep and magazines with women that are photo-shopped "perfectly"...

Growing up I didn't want anything like I wanted to be "skinny".  Fit didn't matter or even being healthy, I just wanted to shop at the cool stores, 
wear a smaller size and not have rolls folding over my jeans.  
And oh to this day, to wear a bikini-I can't even imagine...

See the difference?
We can WANT money, health, fame, to be thinner, more fit or happier but if we're not willing to work for it then DO WE TRULY WANT IT?! 

I often think about the changes physically and mentally that I have made over the last 10 + years and while some of them have been much slower than I wanted, they happened MUCH faster as I wanted them more, worked for them more and wanted them for the right reasons.  
I now want to be fit and healthy for me, my husband, my boys, my Move It Mommas!
I don't care about sizes or shopping in the popular stores, but I do care about FEELING GOOD, MOVING BETTER, HAVING ENERGY, FEELING STRONG, HAVING CONFIDENCE AND BEING A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUNG CHILDREN 

I honestly believe that if I can-you can but YOU GOTTA WANT IT!
WANT IT for the right reasons and want it badly enough that you crave it, you think about it throughout the day and night, you work hard every day to pursue it and you will stop at nothing to achieve it.  Find that attitude and you will NEVER QUIT.  

My arms-the most self-conscious area of my body along with my tummy.  I hid them any chance I could get because they were flabby and the largest area on my body.  Unlike a lot of women, I gain weight in my upper body more than lower.  I tend to hold my weight in my thighs, belly, back and arms.  It's a little strange but it's ME.  
The other day after boot camp I stopped in the mirror because I was drenched in sweat and I felt STRONG...I looked up and saw these?!  Itty-bitty biceps showing through...
AMAZED!!!  An area of my body that I thought would NEVER come around and it is...slowly.
My tummy is still VERY tough to look at.  Stretch marks, loose skin and not very attractive.  I work HARD and get frustrated because the change comes so slowly to the areas we hide most.  
I am proud of how far I've come and will NEVER alter my body through surgery to get it but it would be nice to have my tummy look how I feel.  Right now it doesn't LOOK STRONG but it feels it.  Knowing I work hard at it helps me believe that in time, 
change with come in that area of my body as well. 

I must understand that I was 100lbs OVERWEIGHT.  

That skin was stretched and pulled in a million directions with each pound that I gained and then lost, and then gained again and again.  I must take that into consideration when I look into the mirror and see flaws, see imperfections and areas that aren't how I'd like them to be.  I am satisfied because I try my very best every day with my health and fitness and that's all we can ask for...but I tell myself every day how badly I WANT IT!

And because I WANT SO BADLY to control my emotional eating, I will keep working hard to keep it in control.  To not allow temptations or boredom to control my happiness and I WANT IT enough to keep trying and working toward it.  
I'd rather be moving toward my goal than running away from it.  
The time goes by no matter what...might as well make it count and help us live a life we imagine, right?
I can promise you right now that if you only want it 80% and are not willing to put in the HARD work then you will probably be in this same situation a year from now but if deep within you WANT CHANGE 110% fight for it and dig for that determination within.  
It's there but life sometimes makes it tough to find.

Fighting cravings and temptations are always though so the more things I find that taste good, the better I am at staying on track each day.  These chocolate rice cakes are DELICIOUS especially with a smidge of PB on top :)  Oh la la...

Turkey meatballs in the crock pot took 10 minutes to prepare and made MANY meals...
My boys had meatball subs, string beans and frozen grapes...Mmmm!
Hubby and I opted for meatballs and string beans!  I put the turkey meatballs on LOW 8hrs with a whole, sliced onion, 4 cloves of garlic-chopped, and 2 cans of diced tomatoes-no salt added.  Simmer and enjoy!  EFFORTLESS AND DELICIOUS :)  
Snack time this morning included a tbs of PB for my boys and I, sprinkle of cinnamon and some apple slices!  BE CREATIVE and don't allow yourself to get bored eating the same foods over and over again...keep it interesting and tasty!  You have the rest of your life to explore new food and exercises so keep your options open and ENJOY THE PROCESS!!! 

My MIM's continue to amaze me!  My cousin and I joined forces to make for an exciting day of fun and fitness!  
He taught the Move It Momma children self-defense while I put the Momma's through one heck of a workout!!!  We all enjoyed it and had fun!!!  

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