Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Refuse to Quit!

This expresses SUCH truth, doesn't it?

Somewhere down our path, we must REFUSE TO QUIT!  It can't be an option any longer.  
We fight back and we NEVER QUIT...something I want to spread across the globe! 

The journey for me started back in 2001 and it had many ups and downs.

2001: It was my 21st birthday and I was living the college life :)
Drinking, smoking and staying up until sunrise most nights!  
I had friends galore and was the life of the party...but behind closed doors?
A very different story.
I was miserable inside.
I was coating the feelings of doubt and failure with food.
I would hide this behavior in my little, one bedroom apartment.
It worked well because nobody could see me crumbling apart.
The fun night with friends always ended with a whip into the nearest drive-thru, shoveling the food into my mouth so quickly and then a deep depression filled with guilt, tears and falling asleep only to repeat this pattern the next day...

Fast forward to 2009:
I had met the man of my dreams, he was my best friend but things definitely took a downward turn with my eating.
When I met him in 2002 I had lost weight, was teaching aerobics and working at the local gym.  
I only worried about myself but that was easy.  Cooking for one.  Never eating out and being surrounded by all of the temptation.  It worked for ME.
But then he and I started going to dinner, cooking together and pretty much living together...
I was seeing my former ways come creeping back and it scared me.  

Obviously not enough fear to scare me straight because this was in 2009 after the birth of our second son...
And to think I felt fairly "thin" in this picture...YIKES!
My husband and I both were in a dark place with our health.  How would be bounce back AGAIN?

In 2011, my husband started running after a doctor's appointment that scared his straight.  He lost 100lbs and looked INCREDIBLE.  A new man.  We were eating right and exercising and running A LOT.  

Obviously my food intake was still being hidden when he was away.  My weight in this picture is a reflection of that :(  
Our first half marathon in 2012. 
I HATED this race.  I felt defeated and all those years of doubt and failure came creeping back with each mile.  I had allowed myself to QUIT.  Quit reaching and hoping...I quit believing.  

April 2012, it was time to take control AGAIN.  
I'd look at pictures and see that former, fat girl who had disappeared for a while.  Why did I let her come back into my life and take control?  The million dollar question, isn't it?  

In 2013, I had found that fighter AGAIN!
She was back and ready for business so what to do to ensure I wouldn't fall back and quit again? 
Well that's the thing-there is no definite way of knowing but the key is the REFUSE TO QUIT!
I was losing weight again but this time I needed to do something bigger, fight harder and help others do it too...

It would take a while but the birth of the Move It Mommas would be coming soon...
January 2013...a HUGE milestone day for me.  
I ran a local 5K with my husband.  
It was to symbolize commitment to a healthy lifestyle.
But more than anything it was the was a reflection of where I was going to go and that I will strive to NEVER GO BACK!  

My first half marathon after changing my eating habits for GOOD :)
It felt amazing!  No obstacle too large and I made that race mine...
It felt incredible to not feel defeated but to feel STRONG and BEAUTIFUL.  

Each mile, each race is tough.  
If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be a true reflection of where we started...

January 2014 and I did it again!  Conquered the race I had feared and allowed to defeat me back in 2012...NOT THIS TIME :)
I made it mine!  I had emotional miles and thoughts on where it all began for me.  How I had bumps that I gave credit where it wasn't deserved.  I let those bumps in my journey control me, my foods were in control and I am for the first time, healthy!  100% healthy because of the foods I use to nourish my body, the workouts I push through and the people in my life that make me who I am today!

That smile says a thousand words and emotions...

We must be proud of who we are.  The struggles and all.  
I think the women that are inspired by me can find something to relate to, in me.  
In the past year I have gone from a size 10 to a 4!  WOWZA!  It's not the clothes, or the weight it's about how I FEEL.  Healthy FEELS good and I think it's important to remember that it should be our true FEEL HEALTHY.  

Of course healthy looks good and is a reflection of our hard work and determination.  But I wouldn't trade the way I feel each day for ANYTHING in this world.  

I want my family to experience this same feeling every day.

I work hard for that feeling.
Each pound I have lost is from hard work- no cutting corners.  No magic pill, no doctors appointments...JUST HARD WORK.  That matters.  It counts for something and is part of who I am today-a fighter.  I do not sell ANYTHING on the market in terms of weight loss pills, supplements because I believe that we must sell the feeling!  And I do not judge those that do, it's just not for me.  I'd rather focus on THE FEELING of wanting good health, wanting a healthy heart that will perform for years to come, the feeling of walking into a room with confidence, the feeling of being strong when someone or something is trying to knock us down.  That FEELING is worth fighting for and is what gives me the strength to keep pushing forward and gives me the strength to push and strengthen my beautiful Move It Mommas every day.  

I know that feeling is worth it and is far better than those feelings of defeat and fear.  Better than the feelings if guilt I'd feel after consuming 3 times the daily calorie limit of fast food and processed cookies and crackers.  

Once I'd start eating those foods, I couldn't stop.

Almost as if the light switch would go on and never shut off. And that cycle would continue and find its way into my life far too often.
I REFUSE TO QUIT and I hope you do too :)
Today and every day make yourself worth it.  
Pushing ourselves hard often proves what we're made of.  The strength and beauty within.  


Liz Jacobs said...

Love this post! Side note- I was on drop off and pick up duty for my god child today at HH and saw your sweet boy's picture up on the wall :)

jillconyers said...

Love this! And even more I love the I shape me graphic. The "I" feels so powerful and confident!

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