Tuesday, July 29, 2014

is it HARDER for you?

On my journey I often felt sorry for myself for so many reasons.
It was an excuse that worked well for me.
I was heavier, "big boned", taller than my friends...so it was tougher for me to lose weight.

Seemed like the odds were ALWAYS stacked against me no matter how hard I tried.  
I felt inferior because my friends could eat this or that and NEVER struggle while if I even looked at a bag of chips, I'd gain 5 pounds.

You see THAT was my problem.  Always comparing myself to the people around me.  
Thinking, well it's easy for them to stay thin and much easier for me to stay unhealthy.  
That reasoning worked for YEARS.  It was my comfort and I wanted to make sure everyone could see my struggles on the outside so I kept gaining and gaining...

"It wasn't fair" is what I told myself, "why did I have to fight twice as hard when it came so easy for others" so if the odds weren't in my favor then I would just give up and give in to the life I had created for myself even if that meant my health would suffer and I would wrap myself into my own, pitiful world.  After a while that just becomes our lives and we accept it...and that's unfortunate. 

My thinking has changed drastically and while I still have my moments of pity and doubt, 
I realize that my brick walls are MUCH different 
than those around me.  

If we are honest with ourselves and with others, we will see that we ALL have flaws, insecurities and fears.  It's when we "pretend" that can lead to self-destruction.  I would "pretend" that my weight and health didn't bother me or interfere with my day to day life but truth is-IT DID.  
Every day.

Today I choose to face my fears and doubts head on.  I like to express them to the people around me so they know that life isn't always easy.  Losing weight is HARD and changing your mindset is even HARDER but it's worth it and it makes us stronger.  My "brick walls" tried to stop and defeat me for years...and many times they knocked me down but I kept getting back up and that's the important lesson I've learned.  
It's not about being perfect and never failing.  
It's about learning from the failure, picking ourselves back up and TRYING again and again!  
It's about Never Quitting!

I know look at my walls and obstacles as challenges that nobody understands but ME.  
I know every day is a struggle for me and I fight hard to stay in control of ME and my health.  
I know that each day I put my health as a priority is a day that I become stronger.
Each day that I allow fear to be in control is a day that sets me back...but those days will make me stronger as well.  Always learning from mistakes I made and always knowing that I am worth it.  I am always worth dusting myself off and trying over and over again...AND YOU ARE TOO!

As women we lose sight of ourselves by putting others first.  By putting our children, careers, husbands, life, family, pets...all above ourselves and it's time to give ourselves the confidence to fight back.  To stay healthy and to remain strong again and again.  

Looking fear in the face and breaking down our WALLS!  

1 comment:

Carla Birnberg said...

Ive never seen that quote.

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