Tuesday, September 2, 2014

if you don't.

Couldn't agree more.
I know what failure felt like.  
What low self-esteem and lack of motivation felt like. 
It's a challenge to keep pushing day after day.
I am up for that challenge and want others to do it as well.
The ONLY life I knew was the one that ended with, I QUIT.
I knew what it felt like to lose 20lbs., feel better and then repeat the cycle from the bottom.
I'd make up my mind that I QUIT and it was all downhill, quickly.
WHY did it take so much hard work to get the weight off 
but it came back on, and then some so effortlessly?

Failure was always an option for me...

I couldn't see what others saw in me.  They knew I could change LONG before I actually did.
I saw a helpless, unhealthy, fat girl who was lost and looking for help...
I had NO clue where to find it because it seemed as though 
I had fully accepted who I was, the way I was.  
Giving up and quitting felt normal.  Trying was hard work.
The quitting was just easier.

I can recall joining Quick Weight Loss Centers in high school.  This was one of many attempted "diet plans".  But I thought THIS was it.  It was a support system and a "diet"...a win, win.  Different from the cabbage soup diet or the grapefruit diet- I cringe just typing that.  At last I would shed the fat girl and start living life.  It seemed so easy.  
Eat this food and the weight will drop off.  Yay, I'm IN!
It was my two friends and I, my mom signed me up knowing we didn't have the money to pay for it but she did it because she cared.  I think as a parent, she wanted me healthy but was afraid of HOW to approach it since I was so sensitive when it came to my weight.  Overly sensitive.  Always waiting for someone to call me out on it.  So when I jumped on board, she followed right behind and so supportive.  Day 1 was tough...I think it was an orange, chicken and maybe that was it?  Maybe 2 oranges and then plain, dry chicken for the rest?   Eeek...I was a grump.  When I was hungry, don't mess with me and now I was hungry and angry that THIS is what I was eating while my friends were chowing down at Sonic.  Ugh.  
See, I loved to say "it's not fair" over everything.  
Especially my weight and how I HAD to eat if I wanted to change.  WHY did it take so much work?
I held off on quitting for weeks, maybe even months and I lost weight.  I did feel better, my clothes were fitting and I was gaining confidence.  SO please help me understand why I QUIT?
Oh yes like all things in my life at that point, I gave up.  AGAIN. 
The true work comes from the inside.  It's not about diets or supplements/pills giving you new hope.  It's about inspiring yourself.  Proving that you're worth it.  

When I signed up for that program, I thought IT would do the work, not knowing I had to put forth the passion and hard work to get there.  The lasting effects come from learning a new way of life and thinking.  We can't have the "I'll diet for a few weeks" attitude.
If it sounds too good to be true, it IS.
Getting healthy is one of life's beautiful obstacles.  It makes us stronger and more passionate about living and that is a gift that cannot be taken away, no matter what.  I truly believe that.  Those days of  dieting helped me realize that it is NOT the answer and never will be.
It's about living a life with pride, confidence and strength...every day.  It's about not hiding behind food and our weight because it's easy and comfortable.  It's about getting out there and living.

We know where this story picks up, don't we?  After she quit on herself like many times before, she would gain more weight and find that her addiction to fast food would reach an all-time high before a blank stare into a mirror-unsure of who she was anymore, would change her life forever...

And yes, I was overweight and unhealthy but sometimes that's not our battle.
Some of us want to simply FEEL better, LOOK better, have energy and FEEL STRONG!
It's ALL achievable if we stop giving up on ourselves, isn't it?

I wonder why along our way through life, we get to a place where we just don't care anymore?
For some it's "Oh I'll never look the way that I did in my 20's so why try?"
Or, "I was thin and active BEFORE kids, it's too tough these days"
Or my famous words, "I'm just meant to be overweight and struggle the rest of my life"
It doesn't have to be that way for ANY of us.
Be better.  Want better.  
If you know what it feels like to quit on yourself then see what it feels like to NOT.
I am surrounded by strong women.  Women who will fight hard to get what they want.  
It inspires me and pushes me and to me that is THE greatest gift of all.
Women INSPIRING other women.
We lift each other up rather than drag each other down.

That mountain seemed out of reach for me.  SO many years of the climb, the fall, climb, fall...
But I kept getting back up.
That's important on this journey of ours.  Always getting back up.  

If you've fallen down and quit on YOU then it's time to get back up and try again!
YOU taking care of YOU!  YOU feeling good and LIVING LIFE!

to my local Move It Momma's workout group.  
We are more than I could have imagined.  My dreams are reality through EVERY one of those women.  Whether they come and see me every day or they support me from a distance.  My life is forever changed because of them.  I stopped quitting on ME when I met them.  I only thought my journey was nearing the end but it was only beginning.  I have HUGE hopes and dreams for these ladies and our group.  As I lay awake at night, I think about a world touched by Move It Mommas...and they are big dreams but nothing seems impossible.  Maybe they taught me that...

1 comment:

jillconyers said...

Happy anniversary ladies! I want to live where you guys live :)

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