Wednesday, September 10, 2014

SATISFIED.



Isn't that so true?
Fear holds us back from so much in our lives.  
No matter the fear, we are always set free once we conquer what we are afraid of.  

Finding the picture on the left was yet another WOW moment for me.
Although I dreaded pictures of myself in years passed, I now use them as stepping stones on my journey.  Each pictures is a reminder of how I felt in my body and mind at that time.  And while I openly admit my issues with my body, I am working on it every day.  We all should.  

We cannot be afraid to explore the unknown.  
We can no longer be afraid to stop using the word "diet" 
and start living like we know that we should.  
It's human nature to want things NOW but is it because we fear what's on the other side? 
If we reach a goal do we fear that we may never reach another? 
Are we afraid of what the future holds when we stop being SATISFIED with life as we know it?

That picture on the left was ME running 5-6 days a week, eating Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines, smaller portions of cookies, crackers and baked chips.  Consuming some fruits and veggies, limited protein and far too little fiber.  I also allowed myself one soda a day 
but still drank plenty of water.  

For some of us that is structured and "healthy" right?  Maybe not.  
THAT moment on my journey was huge for me because while I look back to that picture on the left, I see a heavier Marissa but then I saw a much fitter, healthier Marissa.  And I was.  
I was no longer that fast food junkie that hit up every quick meal on the corner and I was MOVING.  I would put 90% effort into my workouts but they NEVER changed.  
After doing those repetitive runs outdoors, I'd come home and fire up a meal in the microwave, grab a bag of baked chips and sit on the couch.  Whew I was tired!  
And looking back to 2001, of course I was healthier now.  I had lost a substantial amount of weight and was learning to maintain where I was...which was the end of my journey right?  
I can be SATISFIED with that?

Studying exercise, health and nutrition in college, you would think I would graduate knowing all of the answers, would set a plan for myself and the sky was the limit BUT after graduation came the real world-get a job, get married and have babies :) ALL beautiful and some of the best moments of my life that I wouldn't trade for anything but I think along the way through life we get SATISFIED with how things are...and that goes for all aspects of our lives, wouldn't you agree?

I was gestational diabetic with both of my pregnancies and while I could control it mostly with diet, with my first son I had to take insulin shots.  Eeek.  I remember the doctor telling me "sometimes this is an early sign of what can come later in life if we don't change" and I remember thinking to myself, "Are you really talking to me?  Seriously...I workout 6 days a week, have a degree in this stuff AND I've lost 76lbs lady...you obviously have it wrong".

But she was right.
I was focused on calories not balance and I still had the mindset that if I exercise, I get to EAT!
Those micro-meals would be 300-400 calories, super high sodium and carbohydrate with little protein and I'd top it off with some baked chips.  Where's the balance in that?
I was lacking fiber and protein, as most women do and this was causing major bowel issues (sorry, but it's true) and it was keeping me at what was still a bit overweight.  
I didn't think so at the time because I had come so far, 
but look how much further we can go?  
How much MORE we can do?  

It took years but I think I've got the whole BALANCE thing figured out.  I'd say I'm quite different than the girl on the left...my how I've changed.  And I find myself frustrated because I feel like I can share what I've learned, knowing I made plenty of mistakes, and share them with the ladies in my group BUT sometimes if we are SATISFIED with the way things are, then we aren't able to let others in.  We aren't able to receive help because we've lost hope in ourselves. 
We are now SATISFIED with tired, achy, defeated. 
and SATISFIED with the fear of trying.  
SATISFIED with taking medicine for this health problem, only to create new health problems. 
RIGHT? 

We have good days and bad.
Don't become SATISFIED with where you are now.  Instead, get ready to go further...
accomplish more, set new goals, stop being okay with comfortable! 

I see my pictures and think, "I never thought in a million years that I'd be where I am today...
just think where I'll be tomorrow...and the next" 

If it's 5lbs or 500lbs to lose, muscle to gain or strength to find- stop being SATISFIED!

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