Thursday, February 20, 2014

FAILURE.

These ladies are real.  They are authentic.  They are honest and strong.
They are no longer afraid of failure.
The most eye-opening experience of my life has been these women.  
For so many years I thought I struggled with the fear of failure alone.  
As I meet with these ladies, hear their stories and listen to their struggles I find that we are not alone at all.  We are very much together.  I felt alone in my feelings of failure. 

in the past, I would succeed only to give up on myself after thinking I was "finished".  We find ourselves at a place that feels okay because it's comfortable.  We have lost, gained, lost and gained over and over so we just hang out waiting to fail once again.  
I am not alone.
We start our days positive.  We make great choices for breakfast and by 3pm we've had a slice of cake, nibbles of chocolate chip cookies, half a bag of Doritos and the list goes on and on.  
That day is ruined, lets move forward...right?  WRONG.  
We just wait to fail again.  The fear of failure is like a trap and we keep falling into it again and again.  
Then we put ourselves in denial until we are disgusted by how out of control we've allowed ourselves to become.  YIKES.  Sound familiar?  WE ARE NOT ALONE.

FAILURE is only there if we stop believing in ourselves and our capabilities.  
If we say from the start, "I don't run, I'm not a runner and will never be a runner"...well then yes, you've proven that you will FAIL at this before you begin.  
If we tell ourselves "I can stick to this for three weeks but after that I have a big party and I'm indulging"...okay, so we push hard, get results, take two steps forward only to find ourselves weeks later stuffing our face and back at square one and the chances of bouncing back the next day...hmm, if you're anything like me it isn't likely.  
If we repeat, "I'm always going to be heavy, it's the way I have been and the way I will always be." Great. 
You have proven to yourself yet again that you aren't worth being HEALTHY.  
BUT truth is, you are more than worth it.  

And I am by no means blaming, I'm stating the obvious.  I did it for SO long.  I doubt myself every day.  but I am not going to fail this time.  My mind is strong.  My mind will not be controlled by impulse eating or self-doubt.  I am known to spiral out of control in days.  I don't need weeks, I need days...heck, hours to prove failure to myself.  I can consume so many foods in 24 hours, it'll make your head spin.  
In public, I seemed to have it all in control.  
I'd munch here and there.  NEVER allowing people to see how out of control I could be.  
I was hiding.  I was the symbol of FAILURE, wasn't I?  
I had proven over and over again that I was the "she gained the weight back again?"
YUP.
Here I was admitting I failed, it's pretty obvious and visible.  
What I have found is that so many of us share this fear.  This fear of failure.  This fear of letting others down. This fear of waiting for people to quit on us.  But why?  Why do we WANT to fail?
I am that symbol of success for my Move It Mommas but what keeps us pushing forward is knowing that we share similar battles, fears and doubts.  While some don't struggle with over eating, they have self-doubt and fear of failure.  Working out, eating healthy and maintaining that is HARD WORK.  It takes effort and determination so when we set out with the greatest intentions only to fall short, in our mind we've failed.  
But it's how we dust ourselves off, get back up and keep going.  
There's no failure in that.
The giving up is what has to leave our minds and our hearts.  
We must no longer give up before beginning, no longer sell ourselves short and no longer HIDE behind our fears.  In our group, we talk and air it all out and that is a beautiful thing to me.  
Priceless and beautiful.  It's saving lives.  Sounds silly but that assurance that we fight day in and day out to make change is what makes us unique.  It's not about being tough, beating the cycle of obesity or sucking it up.  
It's about letting go of that fear.  If we put it out there then what's to be afraid of.  We all have good days, bad days and bumps in the road but we get up and keep going.  I had a bad weekend-a fun, bad weekend LOL but I immediately grabbed a hold of myself, threw the fear out the door and kept pushing.  We must be strong enough to grab a hold of that fear and push it away, EVERY SINGLE DAY.  
LETS DO THIS TOGETHER!!!!!



Some fun samples I received for review last week:
Blue Diamond!  HUGE FAN and have been for a while.  They are a sponsor for the Winter Olympic Games so why not pop open a container with your family while you watch athletes strive for a spot at an Olympic medal.  We sure did and they were great!  I LOVE their whole natural almonds but my husband prefers smokehouse!  Luckily, they sent both!  YAY!  Great flavors, always fresh and the perfect snack option when we want that added protein crunch!  I combine a handful of whole natural Blue Diamond almonds, a sprinkle (5-6) mini chocolate chips and it's like dessert!  
PurFit meal replacement is pretty tasty but I'd prefer vanilla over chocolate.  It has a good consistency, not grainy and pretty flavorful.  I prefer mixing with water and 1/2 frozen banana in my blender.  A tasty treat for a post-workout meal!
InBar I haven't tried just yet so stay tuned...


Sample Breakfast:
1 slice TJ's sprouted bread, toasted.  2 egg white cooked in coconut oil spray served with a clementine and handful of frozen berries!


LARGEST CLASS TO DATE happened on Tuesday of this week!  Over 30 women.  Amazed. 
This picture brings me to tears every time I look at it.  Look at those strong, beautiful women that are NOT AFRAID OF FAILURE!
I am amazed by their ability to see hope in me.  They look at me as a symbol of hope.  That I will fight the battles with them, never leave them and they have no idea how right they are!  I am passionate and care for each of these women.  The changes they've made, confidence they now have...it's beautiful.  No words can describe.


ON THE GO SNACKING:
Wrap a brown rice cake, topped with 1 tbs PB and cinnamon in wax paper.  
Avoids a peanut buttery mess!!!
then pack it up and you're ready for your mid-morning post workout snack!  
With a small apple, of course!

Another breakfast that works for me:
1 slice Ezekiel sprouted cinnamon raisin, toasted.  Topped with 1 tbs Neufchael cheese and Linwoods flaxseed, almonds, brazil nuts, walnuts and Q10!  Sprinkle on top and enjoy with a side of fruit!  Yum!  Thank you Linwoods!

3 comments:

hiker mom said...

Holy cow Marissa! You are getting such an awesome turnout! I love it! So many people tell me they are afraid to do my bootcamp probably just for this reason, fear of failure:( It makes me so sad that they won't even give themselves a chance. Not sure how to change their mindset but I keep trying:)

Stephanie Interbartolo said...

You make me feel not alone by sharing your journey and struggles. Thank you for always being so open.

jillconyers said...

What a wonderful group of ladies. They're fortunate to know you [in real life]! It's so nice to say and believe I'm not afraid to fail :)

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