Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Easy to judge?

From the outside looking in we are often quick to pass judgement, aren't we? 
I know that MY STORY is what it is...MINE. Nobody should understand exactly how I feel or the way I felt being overweight and unhealthy so many years of my life. 
Before we judge or criticize, maybe we should take a step back and understand each person...their individual wants, goals and needs. 
For me, THE GIRL pictured below was ME...for too many years to count


To judge that girl would be fairly easy right?
I appeared lazy and unhealthy...
To live my life on the day to day was much different than lazy and unhealthy.  
I was trapped.  Stuck in life as I knew it.  I would go through stages of depression, euphoria through the junk food I ate and then down a rapid spiral of shame that would only send me back to depression once again.  And that's in a nut shell.  
Of course I flipped back and forth between my weight and size but the point is...I STRUGGLED. 
I STILL STRUGGLE and fight my battles with food and exercise every day. 
The moments I remember most were the ones where I felt ashamed of my weight.  The times where people I loved most doubted me and my capabilities.  It hurt and I would put that feeling into food.  It was like a therapist for me, I guess.  Sad but true.  Something I do NOT recommend.  

And as the weight has come off I have found ME again.  The happy, full of life person that I was trying to be, yet would find myself shadowed by that "fat girl" image that I couldn't shake.  
While healthy living is a HUGE passion in my life, I'm still ME. 
Same girl yet more free and healthy ;) so the feeling I get from many is that because I chose to change MY life that I judge others that do not. 
This assumption couldn't be further from the truth. I do not and will not judge ANYONE.  
My family and friends still impact my life and are the reason I love living life each day. I guess I feel like people feel as though health and fitness is the ONLY thing I care about and that is not true. Yes, I lay in bed at night thinking of ways to change our world, to help ALL people live healthy (cheesy but true!) but I would never and will never stop caring about someone because of their lifestyle choice! EVER! I know the ones I know best understand that but for those that are quick to judge, I want all to know I am still Marissa.  

Every pound I have gained and lost was through hard work, dedication and motivation and because of that, I feel like I can relate and help others do the same.  I have no magic pill or suggestion, I can only offer what I studied in college, what I go through each day and how I overcome it!  I can provide that support system that some so desperately need.  I can provide a shoulder to cry on when we've given up on ourselves or sold ourselves short in the life we've been leading...
and with my experience working with children, I can help mothers engage with their children when it comes to being healthy, making healthier choices and being active.  

My way is not for everyone, but I do think no matter what healthy lifestyle path we take, it takes us in a positive direction, encourages us and celebrates all of our accomplishments, big and small.  
Some of my Momma's are dealing with jealousy from family and friends who are not wanting them to succeed and while I find this SO troubling, I understand because I have been there. Never judge a person or criticize them for seeking a healthier way of life. How awful. If you are frustrated with YOUR road ahead and lack of progress, it doesn't matter. We should always want a healthy life for ourselves AND others. 
While my Momma's receive 95% compliments and encouragement from their hard work and healthy changes, the "haters" still seem to steal the spotlight, right? 
WHY IS THAT? 

The best advice I can offer is...
Keep your chin up, let those that doubt you make you stronger-help you push harder every day!
Some days I workout and eat healthy for ME, some for my family and a lot of times it's for the ones that doubt me.  Sadly it works well.  It fuels me and gives me one heck of a calorie burn.  
We should always want what is best for the people that we love most, so ask yourself if your comments to a loved one will encourage or discourage them before you speak.  For a person who held a lot of shame and guilt inside for MANY years, it never helps when we discourage one another...ever.  Don't be that person.  

1 comment:

jillconyers said...

Great read as usual. Mu daughter and I were just talking about being judgy.

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