Thursday, December 26, 2013

worth it?

There's not a day that goes by that I don't reflect even if only for a bit, on how far I've come.  The person that I have become vs. who I used to be.  
Of course there are days where I wish it didn't have to be work, or that I could for once not think about workouts, foods that I'm preparing, or goals that I'm trying to reach. BUT if I stop and think if the hard work, dedication and pain is WORTH IT?  ABSOLUTELY.  
I wouldn't trade those frequent days of feeling worthless, having no energy or little self-esteem for anything in this world.  I am a new, better person who is confident with who she is.  I share my passion for health and fitness with each of you because I want each of you to know that things can be different!  
The positive change comes with hard work and dedication!  
I have days where I have to talk myself into working out or preparing meals, I wouldn't be human if I didn't have those bad days but these bad days cannot compare with my former bad days filled with junk food binges, hiding snacks, and laying in bed feeling bloated and like I had been run over by a freight train.  Ugh!
Commit to that change this year!  Make this your year to shine brighter than ever before :)

I hope you all had a blessed and beautiful Christmas!
Mine started out with being thankful that my husband was OFF on Christmas morning-hasn't happened in years, drinking coffee with him while we watched our boys enjoy what Santa had delivered!  Oh Christmas through a child's eyes...nothing more beautiful! After gifts were exchanged and opened, Mommy headed out for a run!  Burned 475 calories before noon-not too shabby!

Part of the reason that 2013 ROCKED was because of these ladies...and quite a bit more that were unable to attend, you may have heard of us-The Move It Mommas?!  Whew I'm SO super proud of these women if I haven't said that enough.  
I was unable to make this race, the Santa Hustle 5K and half marathon but some of our group did make it out!  Woohoo!
I woke up super early that morning and ran FOR THEM.  I did 4.17 miles with them on the brain the entire time.  How my life has changed because of them.  How they push me each day to become better, more fit and more determined.  They don't even know how much they are changing my life, while changing their own.  They met up at the start line of the race as I has suggested but then around 8:50am-before the start time, I received a text of THIS picture...

I started to cry.
I'm not even sure why.  I was SO proud that they feel united, they are part of something and they are there for one another and I guess this picture proved that.  They met up, encouraged one another and took pictures!  They are losing weight, gaining a new outlook on life and making positive changes that will impact their future and their families.  Makes me cry just thinking about how proud I am.  They were strong, finished the race and had family support at the finish line! 
This picture is proof that by me sharing my passion is helping to pass that passion onto others!  Words cannot begin to express how happy that makes me.  
From day 1 of my journey I told myself to remember each step, the feeling, the helplessness, the sweat and tears...all of it and use it to help others that share these similar emotions when it comes to their health.  It's what I'm living now...through these women!  
One of my Momma's, Cristy (far left) posted her race photo a while later and she was smiling SO big!  It made me cry.  She, like myself was never a "runner", didn't really enjoy it and all of a sudden she's found herself enjoying it.  Isn't that what life is all about.  Sharing our dreams and passions with others to hopefully help change the lives of others as we have done to our own lives?  YES.  I wouldn't trade my former ways for anything in this world right now.  Although they caused hurt and many years of feeling helpless, I am able to use that to relate to others that may be struggling in similar ways and THAT is what keeps me going.  

My change since January 2012 when I thought my journey was over.  Oh how I had it all wrong.  It is today that I know my journey will NEVER end.  When it "ends", I have let go of my hopes, goals and health.  I must hold onto it, keep reaching and exceeding all things possible!  While having the background and degrees in health and exercise physiology that DID NOT prepare me for a life of healthy living, unfortunately.  It must be about SO much more than facts.  It must be about getting back up when life knocks you down.  About finding the strength to keep going when you have a major setback.  It's about knowing we are capable of FAR more than we give ourselves credit.  It's about taking that emotion that I used on food and putting it into my runs, workouts, and Move It Mommas!  Food used to act as a companion for me, even though I had the love of my life, a beautiful family and friends I still allowed that food to control me.  It was there for me when others couldn't relate or understand.  And it's not that they didn't try to help when I needed it, it was more that food couldn't judge me or let me down.  It was ALWAYS THERE, no matter what.  Those little debbies, pizza, fast food and pasta-it was there through my tough times with my father, the divorce of my parents, when friends let me down, when family would discourage me, when my 8th grade dance dress was too tight, or when people would say, "Wow you have such a beautiful FACE" was there.  And this progress picture is proof that my journey CANNOT end.  If it ends, I've given up and I don't want to ever give up and you should never give up either!  We are all worth more than that.  It's all worth more than giving up! 
And as for my Christmas?  
It was FILLED with workout attire, hoodies, a watch, tennis shoes and socks!  The people I love most know what I LOVE!  And I'm fixing to take off and run in one of my new, workout outfits!  Look at me...instead of an old t-shirt and pants I have an outfit that matches!  LOL!  It's the little things in life, right?!

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