Friday, April 1, 2011

self-confidence

...or lack there of?

I guess growing up overweight and living most of my life with no confidence has sort of taken its toll on me. In 2001 when I decided my life needed CHANGE, I knew that my body was changing on the outside and I felt better, but was I finally gaining self-confidence?! Hmm, unfortunately NO. I mean I always felt as though I could accomplish things, I am smart, independent and always loved to make people laugh but as far as my body image...whew, it was bad. And 10 years later with a hubby that loves me more than anything in this world, two boys that look up to their Momma, I still have low self-esteem when it comes to my body. Last night I was at a Stampin' Up party with some of my best, childhood friends and family and I found myself dogging my self-image in front of all those people. I can't explain it, but I guess I feel like I want people to know up front that I could be thinner and more "in shape" before they judge me for that? Like I wanna say what people are thinking before they say it??! Am I even making sense? Yes, I made a lifestyle change but I'd still like to become the true person that I feel like on the inside and I'm making those changes and I must admit, running has helped me TREMENDOUSLY deal with these feelings...I feel more confident getting out there and doing something I've set my mind to do! Ok, so I guess this rambling post is asking....

do you have trouble with self-confidence, self-esteem or body image?!


on a positive note, I ran today in the blazing heat...it was H.O.T outside. I know I say that everyday, but whew it was rough! But we did it, I pushed my one year old in the B.O.B stroller and my four year old rode his bike 3.2 miles! WOOHOOO! So proud of myself and those boys for getting out there and taking care of our bodies today :)

8 comments:

kimert said...

I do have issues with confidence, self esteem and my body image. I still see 230 lbs. I'm working on it though.
Great job getting that run in!

Mommy Minded said...

I am so with you on this one. Hubby gets so upset with me when I dog on myself, I cant help it. I had an overweight family member that always told me that I was "too big". At 16 I weighted in around 120 and I was very active and fit. Even then she managed to tell me how aweful I looked in things and how "I was not built" to wear certain jeans and tops. I guess I still havent let it go...

My Fitness World said...

You GO GIRL!!!! Run those miles.... Getting those negative thoughts out of our heads, is so hard. I still have "Fat Eyes". Meaning, when I look in the mirror I still fill and look fat to me. It's hard to get past those fellings!!! I bet those ladies that were at that Stampin' Up party were thinking something toldly different then you were. To get out and run 3.2 miles is not easy to do. I bet half of those ladies can even run 1.2 miles. Keep your head up and know that you are a Super Rock!!! Don't try to be thin or skinny, just try to be healthy and happy!!!!

M.O.T.B said...

I have never had GREAT self esteem. But it has definitely taken a nose dive since the birth of my second child.

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

I bet you can help so many people having the past experience of feeling overweight. Makes you relatable. However, you certainly don't look it now!

Way to get your miles in--wish I could run and sweat, but Pullman, WA stays cold too long for this girl! :(

Chunky Monkey said...

How do we stop positioning ourselves to others as not good enough? Why would we want to convey that? Now that I have gained weight I do the same thing even thought i know that a woman's most attractive quality (no matter what size) is self confidence. It instantly adds to our hot factor. Anywho. Glad you had a great run! And what a role model getting your kids out there!

Carly said...

I consider myself a fairly confident person, but when it comes to my body, sometimes I'm not. I know I have work to do and I always think that people are judging me. But I'm getting better at it. I think it takes time.

Bridie said...

heck yes - confident in every aspect of my life except my body. I could lose these desired ten pounds, be "underweight" by BMI terms and still not be happy. I remind myself that it is not reality, but my own internal issues driving this dialogue, and that I will never solve it. You just learn to mitigate it the best you can.

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