We must find a workout that we love doing. We must enjoy it, or why do it? Right?
We must commit to change. Commit to wanting a healthier way of life.
I am so happy to have found a love for running, however...
I guess I shouldn't be frustrated with my 10K finish, but the reality is that I am.
I am being hard on myself and am not happy with my pace, EVER.
Looking at the race results from yesterday, it looks like this...
chip time: 1:10:44
First 5K 34:25
Avg. pace per mile 11:22
During the race, I felt confident. I was having fun. Enjoying the race, although I really pushed myself harder than I had in the half marathon. I wanted to beat that pace from the half marathon and redeem myself.
Wait a minute, "redeem myself" sounds like I'm competitive but the truth is, I'm really not. I want to stay healthy. Be fit. Reach and exceed goals that I've set for myself, that's all. I find myself bummed as I cross the finish line every time I race. That's bad isn't it? I love running and don't want to stop enjoying it but I'm afraid if I keep feeling let down afterward, I'll never want to race again and that scares me.
On the other hand, I must look at the pro's to this race and all of the others:
I did it. I set out to do something and I finished it.
I did not give up.
I will not give up.
I had the guts to sign up, get there and go for it and that stands for something.
I know that setting these goals and doing these races is what helps me stay motivated!
I am afraid that if too much time passes without a specific workout goal in mind, I'll lose focus and slip back into my old ways.
But the messed up part is that I want to, and love to help others but not myself?
I always think about helping my family, friends and my readers reach their weight loss goals! To help them find a passion for healthy living and change their lives. But what about me?
I have major body image issues and never feel quite confident in my own skin.
My husband thinks I'm beautiful. He says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world :)
so, what's my problem??
Do I still see that "fat girl"? NO.
But I don't feel beautiful. I feel "big". I am 5'10", large frame and have never and will never be "little".
Before I line up for a race, I tear myself down before it even begins...but why?
I know in my heart, I can run. I can do it and I will finish. So, why so much doubt?
I don't know the answers to these questions that I'm asking myself right now,
but I do know that tomorrow's run will carry a lot of soul searching...A LOT!
Hmm, I'm thinking no music.
Just myself and my crazy thoughts!
Do you get frustrated with your workouts and goals?
Have you ever struggled with lack of confidence or self-esteem issues?